Yes, the living companionship, your beloved one, is the highest possible event in life.
Never
do I give this any differential expression from one such event to
another such event. Similarly, a "holy" man will not say God is great,
say, "3 yards great" today, yesterday he was only "2 1/2 yards great"!
Since he is a "holy" man, he will say "great" only to express something
for which we have no word to express it. Because the term "GOD" too is a kind of blasphemy, a disrespect, a sign that we are talking inappropriately about something. I do not know how to talk about it.
Still
we can try to approximate our findings, notions, hunches, sights and
visions. Krishnamurti does well in that. He can, at will, see at all
times the ringing life in all it's glory. I cannot. The rare moments,
though, when I do, I celebrate in accord with that moment (or second).
But no wish is in me to keep or prolong this moment beyond the very
moment. That, to me, is freedom. And only this is freedom.
Therefore,
it really does not matter what you do, where you work or even for whom.
The changes which are the only ones ever to be more lasting than all
other materials (sculptures, paintings, atomic reactors) are our genes,
those elements by which hereditary characters are transmitted.
How easily we confuse the magnificence of that splendid world when we rage our wars of "you are right" and "you are wrong." Instead, to keep the record clean at all times- in each instant that I,
not we, not you, not they, but I and only I realize the malfunction of
the relationship between my next-to-me and myself. Oh yes- it is
burdensome to most. A million excuses why not
to live that way. These living failures have justice and religion on
their side- much more, not the least is power and it surrogate, money
(or is it the other way around? -of course not, both are the same = the
ignorance as to what is life).
Let us be ever so gentle and forgiving for our own continuous neglect for that which matters most. Let
me recharge those batteries of memory in this way: yes, thoughtfully,
carefully, deliberately slowly and oft wordless, without movement or
reference, let as be. Out of this gentle letting-be arises a being of
great potentiality. None of us knows (will ever know?) where such
deepest awareness will lead to. It is not important to ask of this
search- "where will it lead to?" because we do not know until we are there. So, why argue about something we do not have?
What
we have today- worldwide- is in need of change. We see that in daily
changes in our government's laws, daily changes in government
officials... whatever the reasons, daily changes in industry and the
scientific research community, etc. However, these changes do not take
place on a plan of integration, not on an endeavor of improved
awareness, or improved genetic stock, or...
What takes place
today, so it seems when watching TV and other forms of organization, is
the loss of ever to develop a sense (any sense) by which we can feel our
doings as those doings affect our offspring. Oh yes! A little here, a
little there!!! For sure!!! Little enough- no change will, or can,
occur.
AND YET-----it is my deepest contention- changes do take place!
[analogy:
in the Indian Ocean a photon strikes a water molecule, and 5 days later
huge areas of land are flooded in vast downpours. Well, I forgot to
mention the multiplicity factor, or exponential factor, by which we have
to treat the frequency of such an occurrence.]
(not only is the
above faulty as an analogy, but I am also convinced that nothing can be
found to ever adequately represent the very potential we are having as
the core of our dialogue. Krishnamurti and many equally insightful
people make this statement.)
Still, we would fool ourselves in
underestimating nature. Nature is so sane, so healthy, so powerfully
oriented towards successful offspring- it will, with absolute ease, wipe
from life all the billions of unsuccessful ones... say, a tree has
100,000 pollens, 10,000 flowers for 100 years and only 5 trees grow from
it when itself dies. What losses! What staggering losses...
AND YET-----now! 5 trees grow.
Still
of the same phenomenon is that some of the interim living surviving
trees of the first one which kill one another by shading the ones born
later, may even have higher survival potentials- no matter! Below the
top trees, all else will die.
The question can be raised- well,
these are trees, the behavior of human beings is different, how do you
see the difference? My answer is a repetition of a sentence from before:
nothing that we say
makes sense as a single item! Only when we begin to integrate, not
coordinate, are we beginning to affect the totality. And only then makes
any sense towards the efforts of Krishnamurti, Buddha or Jesus. [or
any of the other several thousand people acting upon the population and
it's leaders towards increase on awareness]
We really do not even know that it is good(?) for. We have a hunch (and only a hunch) that something of great splendor is of it by, at times, experiencing such. And our creative endeavors, talking with our loved ones, is just this: the YES,
the attending to awareness. All our relaxed, gentle careful inquiries
are deeply important- that is living. That we are, at times
additionally, also "aware", that is being alive. Therefore, you are
painting, I am sculpting, someone sells somewhere, it is all the same
endeavor. Yours is graced with more awareness.
Now back to painting and sculpting...
March 2, 1985
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